It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone
by SlushieMonsterOfDOOM
Summary: Temari has someone she likes, and Anko wants to help, but Kankuro isn't sure he sits well with the GUY she likes....
1. Chapter 1

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone!"

Starring Anko and Temari

**Author's Note: This is really my first attempt at Shoujo, so don't throw bread at me if it's not good! **

Temari blushed as she watched Shikamaru disappear into the trees. She had a major crush on him, and she needed an older woman's advice. Normally, Tsunade would've been fine, but Temari was a little embarrassed to come to someone she knew so well and tell her who she liked. So, she decided to wander around Konoha on a whim and see who she could run into.

As she was walking, she passed Kankuro, who was staring longingly across the road at an Ice- Cream store. She went out of her way to slap him so hard that he fell off the bench, in confusion. "If you want ice- cream, for God's sakes, go and get it, you good-for-nothing hunk of stupid!"

"Oh, okay," he said, dizzily.

As Kankuro got up to cross the road, there was a faint whooshing sound behind Temari and a slightly obnoxious voice said, "Man, you really know how to handle a guy!" The voice struck Temari as familiar, so she turned around to face none-other than the young, female proctor of the second Chuunin Exams. "So, hey," began Anko, "You wanna go grab some lunch? There's a new sushi bar in town that we could go to!"

Temari was surprised. "How come you don't want to go with your other Jounin friends?" she questioned.

"Eh, well, I eat out with Kurenai and Asuma almost every day and the love-sick atmosphere is kinda suffocating, you know?"

"What about Kakashi? Or Gai?"

"Uh, ew?"

"Yah, you're right!"

"Oh, and I can tell by your face that you have something on your mind. Is it something you can tell me about?"

Temari nodded and the two went walking slowly in the direction of the sushi bar.

"So," started Anko, "Is this about a guy?"

"Yah, there's this guy who I really like, but I don't know if he'll--," Temari was cut off by a loud noise from behind. The two Kunoichi whirled around to face Kankuro, who viciously took a chunk out of an ice-cream bar. "A _guy?"_ he questioned suspiciously.

To Be Continued….

**Please leave feedback; I want to know what you think!! Just so you know, just because I'm ridiculing Kankuro in this story doesn't mean I dun like him. So, no crazy fan girls banging on my walls, 'kay? **


	2. Chapter 2

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone!"

Part 2!!

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, here is the second. Since it's the weekend, updates will be abundant, but as soon as the school week starts, I might have to only upload once a week! Oh, and just so you know, this really isn't a ShikaMari fan-fic. It's just mainly stupidity…but you never know how things might end up! **

Temari narrowed her eyes and she stomped furiously over to Kankuro. She didn't know why, but just his being there was ticking her off to no end. She hoisted him up by the collar of his suit, his kitty hat slid off his head and his eyes bugged out. No matter what, when his sister was in a bad mood, she was scary!

"Ugh, stupid little brother! Just because I'm your sister doesn't mean I can't have crush every once and a while!"

"Can't…can't… breathe," Kankuro managed to choke out.

Temari dropped him down onto the ground and said, "I didn't kill you this time, but if I catch you snooping around in our business ONE more time I'll—forget it, just LEAVE!" She turned on her heel as Kankuro scurried off into the distance. He annoyed her so much sometimes.

"Once again, you're tough!" chuckled Anko, seemingly satisfied.

"Yes well…back to what I was saying…I really like this guy but I'm not sure if he returns my feelings. We hang out a lot, but he's always calling me troublesome, and scary and stuff like that… but he's really smart and I…I," her voice trailed off.

Anko smiled and said, "It's the Nara boy isn't it?"

"How'd you know?"

"How could I NOT know? As soon as you said that he called you troublesome…well…OBVIOUSLY it was him!"

Temari laughed. "I guess him and his laziness is well known!"

The two of them walked on, they were almost to the sushi restaurant. As time passed, Temari began to enjoy Anko's company. They had very similar views on life. It was WAY better than talking to Sakura or Ino. But, as usual, her contentment didn't last long.

"Uh, Anko, said a voice from behind (SlushieMonsterOfDOOM: **AGAIN?!).**

"What?" she said, her voice sounding annoyed.

"Could you teach me something about girls today?" It was Jeraiya. --

Temari made a sound of surprise. How could he be so open? If he wanted to know things like that, it should be privately!

"No," replied Anko, simply. "I don't know anything about girls."

He looked at her strangely. "Wh-what?!"

"The only thing I know is that the only time girls like perverts like you is when you have a snake in your neck!" she said enthusiastically as a snake swiftly emerged out of her sleeve and sunk its fangs into Jeraiya's thick neck. He tensed up and fell to the ground with a very stupid expression on his face.

"Now," began Anko, "Where were we?"

"I-is he…dead?" asked Temari, almost fearful of the answer.

"We'll leave that up to him," she said, mischievously.

**To Be Continued…Hopefully today or tomorrow! 3 Oh, and if you have any ideas of your own about what could possibly happen next, I'd love to hear them!! I might be able to work them into the storyline somehow! (If not this one, then another fan fic!)**

**See ya!**


	3. Chapter 3

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone

"It's Girl Talk, So Leave Us the Heck Alone!"

Part 3!!

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long for this to be published. This will be the final installment of this particular FanFic. I am fresh out of ideas, so the ending might be a little anti-climactic. Expect a Kingdom Hearts one next **

As the two girls continued on their walk, Temari began to wonder if they would ever get to the Sushi Bar. It was kinda ironic that guys just kept popping out of no-where.

Suddenly, there was a rustling sound, and out of the trees came a lump of wriggling toilet paper! Anko reeled back in disgust, as it tried to stand up. (Only to fall back on its…face?) And sound emitted from the lump. It sounded kinda like, "Oh…theesh meesh throuppleshum. Thow the theck thid thi thet thinto this thess?"

"Shikamaru?" exclaimed Temari, incredulously.

"Yeth. Thould thu theese thet thee out?"

Temari and Anko attacked the wad of toilet paper with all their might, until, out popped a very bedraggled Shikamaru. His hair (which wasn't tied up anymore) hung down to his shoulders, his eyes had bags underneath them, and he was shirtless. Temari decided that he had been sleeping when he was…attacked…

"How the heck did you wind up wrapped in toilet paper, Shikamaru?" demanded Anko.

"I dunno…I was sleeping, then, out of nowhere, a ginormous wooden puppet came and locked me inside of its belly. Next, I was pulled out in a pitch-black room and tied up with toilet paper. After that, I felt some vibrations, so I guess my kidnapper was trying to make his or her escape…but he/she lost their balance, and I wound up here!"

"Kankuro…," snarled Temari through clenched teeth. She swiped her giant fan out of its holder and brought it down quickly, sending a shock wave of air into the surrounding trees. There was a startled yelp and, sure enough, Kankuro came tumbling out of the forest, face first.

Temari yanked him up by the collar and brought him so close to her face that his nose brushed hers. His eyes were wide with fear. "You tied him up?! In toilet paper?! AND ATTEMPTED TO TAKE HIM TO THE SAND VILLAGE??"

"Heh heh…yes…I might've had something to do with that….," choked Kankuro, nervously.

"You…you…you know what, nevermind," she said, dropping him onto the ground. Temari looked and Anko guiltily, and mouthed the word "Sorry…,"

Anko shrugged and said, "It's fine. This is much more important. I'll just go see if Ero Sennin is awake yet."

Temari nodded and turned to Shikamaru. "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to clean yourself up and then go grab some lunch with me?" Shikamaru stood up and brushed himself off.

"Sure," he replied. Kankuro opened his mouth to protest, but Temari stopped him by bringing her foot down on…well…a very hurtful place. Kankuro tensed up and rolled over onto his side, whimpering.

As Shikamaru and Temari walked away, Kankuro prayed silently that Shikamaru not try to dump his sister. Or, he might just end up in a world of pain.

**The End. I hope you enjoyed! **


End file.
